Quote

“All the reading she had done had given her a view of life that they had never seen.”
Roald Dahl, Matilda

Gezelligheid

The coziness, warmth and comfort at home, or being together with friends or loved ones sharing time in a pleasant and nice atmosphere.

Dark Daughter

I can still picture her discovering enchantments amongst the rocks, by the water. Each wave brought a new souvenir, attaching itself to the last memory I had of her smiling. Sand sprayed in curtains around her as she ran up to me, hands overflowing with treasures. Her smile seemed infinite. The rocks and shells lay broken on her floor now. She walks over them, barefoot, pacing back and forth in her small room. I wonder if she feels any pain, or if the darkness I sense has consumed all feelings. My courage fills enough to question her on why she would break her beloved possessions. Of course she won’t tell me why, her glazed eyes hide the truth. Punishing her seems useless. The bruises on my arm, abstracts of purple and blue, show the ineffectiveness. She drops to the floor, crawling like a rat, gathering the broken remembrances.  I hear her whispering something as she throws the fragments under her bed, disappearing under the bed skirt. I open my mouth to protest, her eyes snap to mine, my tongue is stuck. It hurts me to see her and I won’t let her see me crying again. I escape to my room where my tears can flow without mocking eyes. I hear the scratching begin. She starts on the wall by the door, dragging her dirty nails till she reaches the other side, making deep lines in her flowered wallpaper. After the first time, I questioned her on why she would do such a thing. No response came as she picked at the debris from under her long nails. More instances and outburst continued to happen out of nowhere. One moment she was fine, almost herself, the next gone completely.  I confined in our priest on her actions, he reassured me she was just going through a phase and not possessed as I thought. But he doesn’t see her eyes. Some days they look terrified, others sinister. She is a dark shadow of the daughter I used to have. The scratching ends, meaning that she wants me to tuck her into bed. The only time in the day she allows me to touch her. Reluctantly, I go into her room, trying not to look at the fresh wounds in the walls. Laying in a graveyard of torn up or decapitated stuff animals, her eyes closed, a hallow figurine. She opens her eyes as I lean in and kiss her forehead. “Mommy”, she whispers, “I’m done here. Why don’t you check under my bed?” Shocked from the evilness in her voice, I respond only with a smile. I don’t know what she means or wants.  I get on my shaking knees and lean down, lifting up the bed skirt. There she is, my girl, terrified eyes mirroring mine. I yank her out from under the bed, pulling her into me. The house seems to exhale as I look through the tears filling my eyes at the empty bed. 

(I wrote this flash fiction piece for my creative writing class. Its spooky and dark in honor of the Halloween season.)

JAM

GO

I got into BYU London Study Abroad. I leave in January.

"Disappear from your hometown. Go and find the people that you know."
-Avett Brothers

Films

It's stereotypical that fall = watching movies, cuddling, and wearing sweaters.  Well, I prefer fuzzy bathrobes and the only boy I'll be cuddling with is Dooney... which I'm more than fine with. As for movies, I have been compiling a list of movies to watch and thought I'd share them 1. So I don't forget about it 2. because I like lists 3. in hopes someone will see it and be my movie buddy.  The problem I face is where to find these movies, as to the Orem Library, my go to place, though their stock is well plenished, lack most of these dare I say, "hipster" films.  Some of these movies I have already enjoyed and some are still a mystery:

Keith
Norwegian Wood
Cave of forgotten
Ghost World
Rocket Science
The Fantastic Mr. Fox
Like Crazy
That Thing You Do
Notting Hill
Love Actually
Dead Poets Society
Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close
My Life Without Me
Lovers of the Arctic Circle
The Unbearable Lightness of Being
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Little Miss Sunshine
Matilda
Love Story
To The Wonder
The Diving Bell and the Butterfly
Wild Child
Bridget Jones
Mr. Nobody
Good Bye Lenin
Garden State
Sweet Little Lies
The Secret Life of Words
L'Enfer
Never Let Me Go
Cemetery Junction
Requiem for a Dream
Big Fish
The Jane Austin Book Club
Little Birds
Day Dream Nation
The Solitude of Prime Numbers
Submarine
Trainspotting
To Kill a Mockingbird

Don't Stop Me Now (Stripped)

I've been listening to this on repeat. If I got wishes from a genie, my first wish would be to have a powerful and beautiful singing voice.